its a star-wrecked sky
sun-wrecked sea.

i walk and walk on the edge
of the border between
wrecked and beautiful.

it never seems to end.
it never seems to have a conclusion.

its just 
a long longing.

you want to change it.

everything?

you have already corrupted my memories.

yes, they were the ones i was holding on to.

and what can i do if thats all you wanted to hear?

my dear you,
my dear me.

just strange,
just flowing,
away and still 
just flowing.

and
to this light
i say
dont blind me
to this music
i plead
dont remind me.

but cant you see
it is all i have.
it is all i wanted to have.

and still like
the old metaphor
of sand slipping from a clasp
if tried to hold tight

its drifting
draining.
and from all the pores of
my body.

if i could know

that you were

a part, a song from my own collection

but you made me

recognise

i was just a note of it..........

oh...

when was i last found, do you know?                                   

i could die, i could live .

i could dream, i could create.

but when i'm awake, and it's this morning.

i know.

i touch my face, my hands and yeah, i know.

was i sleeping?

was i still awake and dint know?

yeah, sitting in a heartless cabin,

there makes no difference if i'm lost

or found.

because it doesnt know, doesnt need,

it cannot feel...

all it can is,

like a street prostitute....

but no, i want to,

oh, i'm lost..

1.

Loneliness

Name of an old cat

Everyone wanted to sell...

Blind now.

Dumb too...

Not enough to reach you.

Though

it may disturb everywhere it passes,

crack some china on its way

and dirty your carpets..

Unrecognisably,

coz it stopped mewing long back.

2.

That day

wind blew from north

unexpectedly..

the noice

some strange ones

woke me up,

sounded like rain...

i went out see.

there were eyes falling,

round, bloody ones.

staring aimlessly.

all over...

in the courtyard,

in the terrace,

flowing with the sewage.....

i took one, felt.

it still contained a nerve beat.

from then.,

i couldnot dream of

the snow-topped mountains

or the orange sunsets...

you know,

i could be in love.

i dint see it coming, but.

coz, suddenly,

i'm reminded of the yellow butterflies..

and, the glasswares which turns red

when being touched

by someone in love.

so i touch this keyboard

this finely polished tables,

waiting for them to tell me

those stories..

yeah, but i'd known,

about the lifelessness of my own life,

these things i've got to be with,

how did i forget?

it's because of you.

the culprit.

remember,

"i want

to do to you

what

spring does

to cherry trees"?

i dont know how much can i

sustain this

fraud

diplomatic

self of mine..

i know this is not me..

i know this is where i should run away from

still

this music around me

is persuading me to live

telling me "change is scary, difference is not toleraterd.."

take me from here...............

hey... i'm here in search of something relevent to make my days go better!!!

and i can no longer wait..

here, i m near the sea, which seems to have got really angry..

to all of us, the humans..

to all what we have been doing..

does this seem to be like a pretention,

oh god, why am i scared of pretentions,

sometimes, when you zoom out and you see,

you find your soul dwelling in a sea,

of equally irrelevent souls

you shout, you shreak,

all you hear is

a more vague, complicated, unrecognizable noice..

so is it neccessary....

to live, to shreak, to dream?